I'm a B, but its a B-eautiful day.

First thought when I woke up this morning was: "I'm cleaning. Our house is dirty, and I'm gonna clean it." I hate the way the house stays dirty all the dang time. Its so annoying to me; I get very tired of cleaning up after myself and everyone else, but hey, I guess that's life, and this is a learning experience.

Then, I decided to call my best friend ever, my mom. I miss her and Ethan so so so much. I can't wait to go home and just hang out with them. But, I talked my mom into coming and seeing me, so she'll be here in like two hours and is going to stay the night!!!! So, now I have extra incentive to clean the house. I'm just like my mom in that we both like clean houses to come home to.
I've also been doing some thinking about myself this morning which usually happens when I'm alone with scrubbers and mop in hand. I've been thinking how sometimes I'm a total B. I'm sure that I can get on my housemates nerves all the time with the way that I'm always complaining about the house being dirty or nobody doing anything to help out. But ya know what, that's just me. I'm sure I can stand for some change (who couldn't), but I'm a person, and those things are important to me.
On a different note, I don't feel like its necessary for me to be fake in anyway because people don't feel good about themselves. I mean, I'm nice to be people, help out when I can, share just about everything I own (makeup, food, clothes, gas). Don't get me wrong, I love sharing and by no means do I mean this in a proud sort of way, but I do what I feel is right. I don't feel like its necessary for me to hold back my feeling just so I won't hurt people's feeling. I'm basically honest. It can be brutal, but truthfully its usually not--just straight-forward.

The world needs structure--people need structure. Sometimes I think that some people are just tools of structure. Maybe I'm just a tool of structure. My constant grinding and complaining is just a necessary backboard for others to sound off of. Or maybe, I just think that in order to somehow romanticize how unpleasant I am.

Oh well, I just went for a good run and then worked out my abs. I smell disgusting. All is well though cause my mom is on her way here as I type.